Let’s face it, the holiday season can be hard for many reasons, especially for caregivers of loved ones experiencing memory loss. A season that is “supposed” to be filled with happiness and togetherness is often met with hustle and bustle, adjusted routines, change in weather patterns and overall unpredictability that can impact the mood and health of individuals with dementia. That is why during the upcoming holiday seasons more than ever, maintaining holiday traditions matters — no matter how big or small, can lead to peace, joy, comfort, gratitude and support.
Peace
Many individuals experiencing a dementia diagnosis struggle with short-term memory, but the long-term emotional memories stay strong. Whether it’s going outside to watch the falling leaves, hearing a favorite hymn or Christmas carol or smelling the sweet treats baking in the kitchen—these sensory experiences trigger memories, bring peace and allow for recall of details that family members thought were forgotten. Loved ones may not remember an event or how to do something but how they feel will stick with them.
Joy
The holidays are special. It’s that “waking up on Christmas morning and knowing that meal that’s only served once a meal will be served” kind of feeling. These and many other highly anticipated and appreciated holiday happenings are things you never age out of. That is why seasonal activities like handing candy out to trick-or-treaters, decorating a tree, and celebrating spiritual traditions are priorities on our campuses. These moments spark joy and bring out nearly every resident’s playful energy that is unique to the season.
Comfort
While familiarity brings comfort, comfort may also mean having to adapt. Understanding that the loved one may have different abilities or mobilities doesn’t mean the tradition has to fall by the wayside. It may just need to be adjusted to celebrate in the here and now. Meeting residents or family members where they are along their journey can bring a lot of comfort. Maybe mom used to make the family meal, instead of not making it at all – could mom help mash the potatoes or fold the napkins to stay involved. Consider other smaller rituals such as lighting the menorah or saying the prayer before the meal to allow everyone an opportunity to contribute. The elements of these traditions may seem simple but are very meaningful.
Gratitude
It’s easy to focus on what has changed or has been lost as a result of a dementia diagnosis. What if we focused on connection over perfection? Healing can come in all forms when there is room for flexibility and a renewed sense of gratitude by just being present. The “stuff” that comes with the holidays will be forgotten, what will stick is the memory of singing songs together, sharing meals, lifting spirits with hugs and laughter.
Support
Going into the holiday season with a plan can help manage the expectations for the caregiver and their loved one. Eliminating the elements of surprise can reduce behaviors and allow the time and space to fully enjoy each other’s company. Consider these and other ideas seniors for managing the holidays:
- Keeping it simple – Focus on recreating one or two meaningful activities rather than a full- or multi-day experience.
- Follow the loved one’s lead – Plan time for rest and relaxation and schedule happenings around times of day that are often better for your loved one. Encourage participation but also be okay with your loved one wanting to watch the family enjoy the activity.
- Keep gatherings small – To avoid feelings of overwhelm for the your loved one and the caregiver, consider keeping gatherings small and intimate in nature. Preparing guests for how to best interact with their loved one – such as explaining they may have to identify themselves a few times can also help in comfortability.
- Roll with the emotions – All the emotions that come with caregiving are normal and will likely be heightened during the holiday season. Ride the emotional waves and seek support. Remember you are not alone.
This holiday season, we invite you to embrace the celebrations no matter what form they take this year. Take the opportunity to connect, reflect, reminisce and enjoy all these intangible joys that come with the holidays. Because, as Linus famously said “Isn’t that what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown…”
Country Meadows Retirement Communities of Allentown is here to help. Reach out to one of our advisors for guidance and support.